


SSB: TAS episode 34: The Missing Turkey

by Quartz2006



Series: Super Smash Bros: The Animated Series [34]
Category: Batman: The Animated Series, Hoshi no Kaabii | Kirby: Right Back at Ya!, Super Smash Brothers
Genre: Cigarettes, Gen, Holidays, Humor, Mystery, Teaching, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving Dinner, Turkey - Freeform, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:40:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21589282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quartz2006/pseuds/Quartz2006
Summary: Chef Kawasaki is panicking because his cooked Turkey is missing, so he thought Pikachu, Wario, and Little Mac might eat his turkey. Was it the three? Or someone else? Meanwhile, things go crazy in the classroom.Note: I don't own the characters, only the story
Series: Super Smash Bros: The Animated Series [34]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1420129





	SSB: TAS episode 34: The Missing Turkey

“Alright class, today is Thanksgiving, and we are going to learn the origins of Thanksgiving!” Two-Face announce.

The class clapped except Kirby. Kirby never heard of ‘Thanksgiving’ before. And he was curious about the origins of ‘Thanksgiving’. The Penguin yells, “PIT! GET YOUR DIRTY IMPOLITE HANDS OFF YOUR PHONE!” He pointed his umbrella at Pit.

“LISTEN RIGHT HERE, FATSO! I WAS WATCHING A VIDEO AND YOU SPOILED THE MOMENT!” Pit shouts out as he bangs the desk with his hands.

“What moment?” Mega Man spoke. “You are actually watching PornHub! Here’s proof!” he took Pit’s phone out of his hand as he shows the Bat-Family what’s on his phone. In the video, an anime girl was tentacled raped by a black monster with a grin on its face.

“EWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!” Yelled the class in disgusted.

“What? The best part was coming up when the monster cums!” Pit whines.

“PIT! HOW MANY TIMES WE TOLD YOU NOT WATCH THAT FAGGOT SHIT!” Yells Killer Croc.

“Hey! I like that stuff!” Pit shouts.

“And that’s banned in all schools!” Batman said. “Your phone is going in my pocket until I tell on your Guardian about what you are watching!” Batman puts the phone in his pocket. “And you better not steal someone else’s phone! And we are watching you!”

Pit crossed his arms in anger. “Maskfucks!” Whispered Pit to himself. But he got in trouble when Lucas heard him and reported to the Bat-Family. “LUCAS! WHY DID YOU DO THAT!?”

“Hey! No calling names in the class! You are here to learn! Not to watch people doing the ding-dong!” Lucas says.

“PIT! GET YOUR ANGEL ASS TO THE CORNER AND STAY THERE UNTIL THE END OF THE DAY!” Mr. Freeze yells. Pit mutters and sat down at the corner. “Anyways class, let’s talk about the origins of Thank-” Freeze was cut off when Wendy was saying swear words to Kirby.

“BITCH! SLUT! FUCK! MOTHERFUCKER! SHITBAG! YOU ARE UGLY AS HELL TRANSGENDER!” Wendy yells at Kirby’s face.

Kirby grabbed Wendy by the bow and said in her face, “How about I burn your body in a pot with acid?" Before taking out his knife and started to beat her up like a cookie cutter.

: : :

Chef Kawasaki looked down at the bottom of the stairs. Near the end, it's dark and gloomy. He gulped. He took out his flashlight as he turns it on. He was about to lift up his left foot when Pikachu jumped out of nowhere and said, "Hi-ya!"

"HOLY SHIT!” Kawasaki pulled out his gun and pointed at Pikachu. The yellow mouse screamed as his hands were up in the air. Kawasaki was about to pull the trigger when he realized it's just Pikachu. “Oh. Sorry,” He apologized.

“ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE! I ALMOST DIED!” Pikachu yelled before getting hit on the head by a ranch.

“Shut up little rat!” Little Mac appeared with Wario on his side. “Why in mac-in-cheese hell are you screaming about? We could hear you from 23 ft away!” Mac saw Kawasaki pointing a gun at Pikachu. “Um? Orange potato? Why are you pointing a gun at rat mouse?” Pikachu slowly got up from the floor as he fixed his ears.

Wario snorted. “Wah! He’s just ah-scary cat just like Kirby back when he first got here.”

Kawasaki puts his gun away as he says, “I am not a scary cat! Pikachu just scared me and that's it!”

“Whatever. Anyways, what are you doing?” Mario snorted again.

“Going down the basement to get something important for Thanksgiving,” Kawasaki said.

The three looked at each other in confusion.

“Wanna come?” Kawasaki aid.

“Sure, there is nothing to do since fighting only happens at 4:00 PM to 7:00 PM,” Pikachu said as he, Little Mac and Wario followed the chef downstairs. As they went deeper, Pikachu is starting to shiver. “I-I don’t like it here. I wanna go back.”

“Calm down Yellow Rat, we are almost there,” Kawasaki said. “Just a few more steps and that's it.” 

Kawasaki was right.

They reach down to the bottom as there was a safe in the middle of the room. Kawasaki walled to it and did the code. “So wahh in the safe?” Wario said.

“Something special for this Thanksgiving,” Kawasaki said as he heard a click. He smiled as he opened the door and suddenly screamed. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY DISH!!!!????” Kawasaki yells but then he turns his head to the three. “Did you three took my turkey?"

“Oh no!” Wario said.

“I’M GONNA KILL YOU!!!” Kawasaki yells as he took out his frying pan.

“RUN!!!” Pikachu yells as he started to run up the stairs. Then Little Mac and then Wario. The three screamed as Kawasaki chased after them with his frying pan.

…

…

Kirby chased down Wendy around the classroom while everyone watches, Pichu is recording this while he is giggling. Pichu has a YouTube channel called: 'Pichu Funny Videos', where he posts contact that involves violence. Big time.

Then Catwoman took out her whip and whipped Wendy, "GO BACK TO YOUR SEATS!!" She pointed as Kirby ran quickly back to his desk. Wendy muttered and went to sit back. "Thank you. Anyways, we'll talk more about Thanksgiving a bit later. We have something to show you!"

"An animation by Glover, and Kirby!" Batman said with a happy tone. "Called: 'The Rights and Wrongs of Ordering Food in a Fastfood Place'. Right?" He looks up at Glover and Kirby.

"Yup." Glover nodded. "It took us a freaking week to get it done."

"And don't look at my hands…" Kirby muttered.

"Impressive. Now, you two load up the video and the class with giving you two a rating." Killer Croc says as Glover and Kirby quickly got the video ready. 

"Here we go!" Kirby pressed the button as the screen shows the title of the animation.

The Rights and Wrongs of Ordering Food in a Fastfood Place

Featuring... Mega Man (the not-so dumbass motherfucker) and Pit (the real dumbass motherfucker)

**The right way to find a parking spot**

Mega Man drives through the parking lot as he saw cars already parked. He was about to give up when he saw a parking spot. He happily parked at the spot.

**The wrong way to find a parking spot**

Pit crashes into a pole as he backs up and drives through the parking lot. There is no more parking for Pit. But he got an idea (a dumb one). He found two cars parked right next to each other as Pit backs up too quickly and crashed into the two cars. He backs up more until he was filling in the parking spot. The two were badly damaged as Pit smiled.

**The right way to wait inline**

Mega Man walked into the fast-food place as he saw a 12ft long line. Mega Man sighs as he stands begins a guy and waited.

**The wrong way to wait inline**

Pit crashed into one of the windows as he saw the line. Pit walked up to the line and waited. And waited. And waited. "I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!" Pit yells as he pushes the people of the line out of his way until he reached the cash register. The cashier was shocked. The people who were on the floor grunted and sighed.

**The right way to order food**

Mega Man rings the bell on the counter as a female cashier showed up. “Hi and welcome, what can I get you?” Said the cashier.

“Could I have a double cheese and bacon burger?” Mega man asked.

“Coming right up.” The cashier says as she typed the order. “Ok. that will be $20:78.”

**The wrong way to order food**

  
  


“NEXT!” Shouted another cashier as Pit walked to the counter. “Welcome to the worst place in the world, what do you want to order you big ugly girl?”

“Excuse me mister, I’m a male, anyway, I’ll get the Triple Coronary Bypass, mix with The 666 burger, put a whole bunch of bacon on the bun and put mayo under the bacon, and then add 1 billion cheese under the mayo, no vegetables, and make it double the size of that fat person with a drink in his right hand, and put mustard on the bun, and make it in a snap.” Pit said.

The people in the restaurant stayed silent. “We serve food here sir, not what you said.” The cashier muttered.

**The right way to pay**

Mega man took out his wallet as he pulled out 50 dollars out of the wallet and handed the money to the cashier. The cashier handed him his chance as he went to find a seat

**The wrong way to pay**

“Alright big ugly girl, your shit will cost $1000.” Muttered the cashier.

Pit gasped. He didn’t even bring any money with him. The cashier cocked an eye as he waited. “Excuse me, sir, I need to use the bathroom.” Pit lied as he ran to the bathroom. He searched everywhere to find money. But nothing. Pit was about to give up when he saw a random billionaire walked inside the boy’s bathrooms. Pit got an idea, he snuck behind the billionaire and stab him in the back with his sword. Pit took some money and left the bathroom, leaving the guy to suffer. Pit returns to the cash register as he placed $1000 on the counter. “Here you go sure!” Pit said in a happy tone.

The cashier looked at the money. “Sir, you stole it? Did you?” The cashier said.

“What? No I didn’t!” Pit said.

“We have security cameras in the bathroom, sir,” the cashier mumbled. Then he pressed a button under the counter. Then the cops showed up in front of Pit. “Get him boys….” the cashier muttered.

The cops grabbed Pit by the head and lead him to the back of the restaurant and beat him up with bats.

**The right way to wait for your food**

Mega Man took a seat and sat down on one of the chairs. The cashier told him that his food will be ready in 20 minutes. He landed his head on the table and waited. After about 10 minutes, Mega Man took out his phone and started to play some games.

**The wrong way to wait for your food**

Pit muttered as he took a seat, he had just had a serious talk with the police after what happened. Pit sighs as he complains, “Ah I’m getting hungry here!” 

The chefs who were in the kitchen sighs and groans at the comment. One male chef said, “Then why are you in this fast food place?” as he went back to cooking.

Pit looked at his right shoulder to see children eating french fries and hamburgers. Pit smirked as he took out his arrow and shoot at one of the kids’ drinks as it explodes. This made the kid cry as the other kids cry as well. Pit laughed as the customers groan and the chefs got madder.

Then Pit started to sing an annoying song about waiting. One chef threatens to kill Pit but the other chefs shook their heads no.

**The right way get your food**

“628!” She called out the cashier as she had a tray of food on it. Mega Man got up and walked to the counter and thanked the lady.

**The wrong way to get your food**

“789!” The cashier called out in an annoying tone. Pit happily got up as he got his food. “Ahem. Tip please.” The cashier said as he stuck his hand out. Pit looked at it and kicked him in the balls. The cashier fell to the ground as Pit flies away, refusing to get beat up by the cops again.

**The right way to eat your food**

  
  


Mega Man placed his tray of food on the table as he took a seat, he picked up his burger and begin to chew on it. But, he is chewing quietly, he let the people talk and have a good time. He even gives a thumbs-up as the chefs saw this and smiled.

**The wrong way to eat your food**

Pit put the tray of food on the table as he took a seat and quickly stuffed the food in his mouth as he chewed like a big fat pig, he is chewing so loud, the customers groan and stare at Pit with pissed off looks. Even the chefs got pissed off. The chef from earlier took out a huge knife, the other chefs saw this and took out their knives.

**The right way to say thank you**

When Mega Man was done his food, he put the tray back and went to the counter. “Hi,” said the cashier. “Why are you back?” She said in a question voice.

“I just want to thank you for the food, the food is fantastic, and you guys are so damn nice!” Mega Man said in a happy tone.

The cashier smiled as she said, “T-thanks for that comment sir. It really helps us a lot.”

“Your welcome miss. I better get going, see you later.” Mega Man said as he walked to the door, he waved at the people who worked there and they waved back. He shut the door as the people went back to work.

**The wrong way to say thank you**

Pit finished his food as he throws the tray at a person. “Um HM! Now that is some good shit!” Pit said as he stood up and walked to the door.

He was about to open it when the same cashier said to him, “Excuse me, sir, but you got to give a review on the place.” The cashier said.

But he was punched in the face by Pit. “Oh hell no! I am not giving a stupid review on this shit hole! I just wanted to eat! Not to give a dumbass review!” Pit complain. Pit was about to leave when a hand grabbed him and pulled him into the kitchen. “Hey! What the hell was that ab- HOLY SHIT!” he yelled as he saw all the chefs with knives in their hands. “G-guys, I can explain-” he was cut off when a hand-pulled him. And then a second later, Pit was turned into chicken and is sold for $12.99.

That’s all you need to know! And remember, don’t be like Pit!

THE END!

The class clapped and cheered. Kirby and glover bowed as Pit grabbed Glover by the throat. The class gasped as Pit yells in Glover’s face, “YOU FUCKING GLOVE! I’LL FUCKING MURDER YOU!!!!!” Pit took out his sword as Glover dodged it and the two begin to fight again.

…

…

At the westside of Smash Bros, there were three smashers: Palutena, Wii Female Trainer, and Inkling Girl. They were on one of the balconies while smoking because they were bored and they had nothing to do, except smoke. “Agh!” Inkling Girl said as she throws the cigarette out of the window.

“Why the fuck did you had to do that? I paid for that pack for 300 dollars!” Palutena says.

“Well sorry, I was getting so fucking bored of sitting here and do nothing!” Inkling Girl shouts.

“Well, the Thanksgiving dinner is in a few hours, so you won’t be that bored.” Wii Female Trainer said as she took out the cigarette out of her mouth and blows out smoke out of her mouth.

“But that will take forever!” Inkling Girl whines. “I want something extreme to happen!”

“You got it already, smoking at the age of 14.” Palutena said.

“Excuse me? I smoked a cigarette before!” Inkling Girl said.

“You are really aren’t allowed to smoke in New Jersey, you had to be 21.” Palutena said.

“21!! WHY!!!” Inkling Girl yells.

“Because more and more young people are smoking and that's why it was raised to 21.” Wii Female Trainer said.

“Oh c’mon, you guys gave me a pack of cigarettes!”

“Its because you were begging for how long?” Wii Female Trainer turns her head to look at Palutena.

“7 weeks…” Palutena whispered.

“7 weeks? That's not too long.” Inkling Girl said.

“Are you kidding me? That is 49 days!” Palutena shouts.

“I don’t care, I am just happy to smoke!” Inkling Girl said. “Can I have one more, please?” Inkling Girl said as she shows her squid eyes.

The two women looked at each other, and they shook their head no. Inkling Girl groans but then screaming can be heard. “The fuck was that?” Inkling Girl questions.

“I don’t know, let's go!” Palutena says as she, Wii Female Trainer and Inkling Girl went back inside to see what is happening. They were shocked to see Kawasaki chasing Pikachu, Little Mac, and Wario, Palutena took out her wand and used it to make a wall and Kawasaki hit it. Pikachu, Little Mac, and Wario stopped running and look back at the chef. “What on earth are you doing? Chasing them while you had to cook Thanksgiving dinner?” Palutena said as she made the wall disappeared. Kawasaki got a big bruise on his head.

Kawasaki slowly got up and suddenly yells, “THOSE MAGGOTS STOLE MY TURKEY!!!” He yells as he pointed his finger at them.

“No we didn’t!” Wario says.

“YES YOU DID!!” The chefs yells.

“Calm down everyone!” Wii Female Trainer said. “We’ll settle this the old-fashioned way!” she grabbed some chairs, forced the three to sit on them, pulled out a table, set it in the middle of the westside living room, and grabbed a chair herself. “Now, what is the problem?”

“Well, a couple days ago, I cooked one of the most delicious turkeys in the world! And someone took it on purpose!” Kawasaki said as he pointed his frying pan at the three.

“How could you know it's one of the three? Let's ask them some questions.” Inkling Girl said. “Pikachu, you go first, what were you doing when the disappearance hap-”

Shw was cut off when Pikachu yelled as her face, “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! HE WAS CHASING US FOR 15 MINUTES AND THIS HAPPENED JUST 15 MINUTES AGO! I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING! I WAS JUST MINDING MY OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS!!! JUST PLEASE DON’T KILL ME! PLEASE!” Pikachu yelled so loud he started to burst into tears.

The others stared at him as he continues to cry. “OK OK! JUST CALM DOWN!” Palutena yells. Pikachu looks up at the God. “You are not going to be killed, so you are not the one,” she said as Pikachu slowly crawled behind Inkling Girl. “Ok, Little Mac, you're next, what is your side of the story?”

“Well I was practicing my boxing when this fat ass interrupted my boxing!” Little Mac said as he pointed at Wario on the nose. “And then we fight, and I won, and the next, Yellow Rat started to scream like a rat that was squashed into a wall! And the next, Potato Man got pissed off and chased us!” Little Mac explained as he crossed his arms.

“So, you didn’t took his turkey?” Palutena questions.

“Nah, I never bother to take any food.” Little Mac sigh.

“Ok, all we have left is-” 

Wii Female Trainer was cut off when Kawasaki yelled as Wario, “ITS THIS FAT SHIT! I KNEW IT'S HIM BECAUSE HE EATS LIKE A PIG!”

“Wah, I didn’t took your turkey you orphan!” Wario snorts.

Kawasaki hit him with the frying pan. “You don’t ever call me an orphan!”

“Wah, fuck you…” Wario snorts.

“Listen right here fat shit, if you’re not going to tell where is the cooked turkey, I’ll put you in the oven and turn you into crispy, Italian body, and your fat will be thrown out!” The chef threatened.

“Oh yeah! How about this?” Wario said as he kicked Kawasaki in the ball as he got up and ran out of the west side of the living room. “Na na na na!” Wario teased and stick his tongue out.

“GET BACK HERE FAT SHIT!!” Kawasaki yells as he chased after Wario again. The other followed the two as Kawasaki cuss at Wario. Then came the Portal Room, they have it because it's much easier to go outside other than taking a plane to go down. Wario, Kawasaki, and the others went through the green portal that leads to a school.

…

…

“YOU GET BACK HERE GLOVE!!” Pit yells as he chased Glover around the class. The class sighs as they watched. Then Pit used his wings and caught up with Glover, then he pounced onto Glover as he pinned him on the floor. “I’M GONNA KILL YOU!!” Pit yells as he got his sword. Glover screams for his life, just as Pit were about to stab Glover, the bell rang for lunch. “Oh, boi! Lunchtime!” Pit said as he got off Glover and went to get his lunch.

Kiry helped Glover up as he says, “You ok?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Glover said as he cleans himself. “Let's go have our lunch!” He said as he went into his backpack and took out his lunch, which is a sandwich. He sat back down on his desk and started to eat.

Kirby took out his lunch and sat back down. “BRHA HA HA HA!!!” Jr laughed wildly as he pointed his claw-like finger at Kirby’s lunch. ‘WHAT IS THIS SHIT!” Jr picked it up Kirby’s lunch and spit at it. “HERE PINK SHIT! I MADE YOUR LUNCH BETTER!” Jr yelled as he throws Kirby’s lunch on the desk. “My lunch is better than yours. Just look at this beauty!” Jr took out his lunch which is a hamburger from A& W.

Kirby sighs, but Glover broke a piece of his sandwich ad gave him a piece. “Here, since you are my friend,” Glover said in a sweet voice.

Kirby smiled. “Thanks.” Kirby took the sandwich and started to bite it. “Hm? This is some good sandwich. You made it?” Kirby said.

“Actually, it was Petra, she makes sandwiches for me.” Glover said. “And trust me, she makes the fantastic best sandwiches in the world!”

“Thanks sweetie!” Petra called out.

Then Pit took out his lunch bag, he was about to open it when a portal appears as Kawasaki and Wario appeared out of the portal as they fight. The class gasped as Kawasaki hit Wario on the head with his pan, KIrby got out of his desk as he separated the fight, “HEY! HEY! HEY! WHAT THE BIG IDEA!?” Kirby yells at the top of his lungs.

Then the Bat-Family walked into the class with their lunches. “Alright class, wh- HOLY SHIT!!” Batman yells as he saw Kawasaki and Wario. “What just happened?” he questions.

“I have no idea..” Kirby said as he backs away.

“I’ll explain.” Kawasaki said. “THIS FAT SHIT TOOK MY TURKEY!” He yells.

“Hang on a minute, how the heck do you know it's Wario?” Glover said.

“Cause I know Wario loves my food and of course he’s gonna take my turkey!” Kawasaki said.

“Pit, where are you going?” Petra said as she saw Pit leaving the class.

“Oh, um? I was just going to the bathroom and eat there.” Pit said in a nervous voice.

Everyone in the room looked at Pit with confused looks. “Who eats in the bathroom?” Kirby said. But then he remembered his old days. “Oh. never mind…” He mumbles.

“And why do I smell turkey?” Glover questions.

“It's nothing glove, plus you don’t have a nose.” Pit said, he was about to leave when Two-Face grabbed his lunch bag and open it to reveal the turkey. “Ah shit…” Pit mutters.

“MY TURKEY!” yells Kawasaki as he grabbed the turkey out of the lunch bag. “Oh thank heavens! I thought this would be a bad Thanksgiving!” Then suddenly, he turned mad. “You. you took my turkey.” he took out his pan as he ran up to Pit and beats him up.

“Wait, wait, wait! Pit. why did you steal his turkey?” Inkling Girl questions.

Pit didn’t say anything for a few moments until he says, “Because Palutena didn’t make my lunch!”

“Pit,” Palutena sighs. “You are old enough to get your own lunch.”

“I don’t care, and that's why I had to steal the chicken!” Pit said in anger.

“Its a turkey.” Kawasaki corrected him.

“I don’t care!” Pit shouts at the chef’s face.

“How dare you yell at my face! That's it! I’ll turn you into chicken!” Kawasaki said as he took out his knife. Pit screams as he runs out of the classroom as Kawasaki chased him down.

The classroom went quiet. “So, since the day is almost done, we’ll give you Thanksgiving homework so you can learn what is Thanksgiving,” Two-Face says as he hands out everyone their homework. “And I better see all the homework complete, if not..” He took out his machine gun. “You’ll all getting seven bullets up the ass!” Then his voice changed into a happy tone. “Hope you all have a great day everyone! Oh and Kirby.” He called out as Kirby walked up to him. “Take the homework to Pit and tell him if he doesn't do it, he’ll get his ass destroyed.”

“I know. See you later guys.” Kirby said as he left the class. He is the last student to leave the class.

The classroom went quiet again. “Man, we need to go stop criminals now.” The Joker sighs.

**A few hours later**

All the Smashers were in the dining table, ready for the Thanksgiving feast. They all wait patiently for the feast to begin. Then the Hands appeared as everyone cheers. “Welcome to the 15th Thanksgiving feast everyone!” Master Hand says.

“It took a long time to get everything ready for all of you!” Crazy Hand says.

“And for the moment you’re waiting for. Lets the feast begin!” Called out Master Hand as Kawasaki pulled a cart with a whole lot of dishes. Kawasaki placed the plates one-by-one. When Kawasaki finished, he went to sit down on one of the chairs as Master Hand shouts, “DIG IN EVERYBODY!!” Then soon, all the Smashers were eating the delicious food.

Pit hated the food, a few hours ago, his wings were turned into chicken wings as he saw Jigglypuff eating them. But it's fine, his wing will grow back for a couple of days. “What’s wrong wingless angel? Not hungry?” Mega Man teased.

“I’m just bored!” Pit whines. After he saw Smashers eat, he really is getting bored right now. “Um? Mega?” Pit shakes Mega Man’s shoulder.

Mega Man sighs, “Yes?”

“I want to play a game.” Pit explain.

“Well, I don’t care…” Mega Man mutters.

“Excuse me asshole. Oh, I’m gonna rip out your heart out!” Pit grabbed Mega Man by the throat and they started to fight again. While it was happening, Master Hand played some music to entertain the Smashers while they eat. Then a plate was thrown at the wall but no one pays attention as they eat and eat throughout the Thanksgiving feast.

The end

  
  



End file.
